It was just a kiss, a meeting of lips, happening in a sudden burst of emotion.  I still can’t quite believe I did it.  She was there standing before me, angry and upset, and, all of a sudden, I just had to kiss her.  And now, I can’t get that kiss off my mind.  Her lips were so warm, her body so soft as I held her in my arms.  I could smell her hair, her skin, damp from the pouring rain.  It was . . . amazing.  I thought my heart was going to come bursting out of my chest it was beating so hard.

And then she left.  I let her go even though I wanted to run after her and bring her back into the church, even though I wanted to kiss her again.

I’ve been sitting here in this church, listening to the rain beating against the roof, trying to decide what I’m going to do.  My father needs me, he wants me to join his ministry.  It’s the chance of a lifetime . . . but do I want it?  Do I want to leave behind all that I have here, my congregation, my friends, to preach to people though a television camera?  I’d be reaching millions, but I wouldn’t know any of their names.  I wouldn’t be able to see their faces.  I would not be a real part of their lives, not like I am here on Hope.

Again, I find my thoughts going back to Alex.  She’s so certain that I’m going to leave--and why shouldn’t she be?  Every man in her life has left her in one way or another.  It’s only natural that she’d assume I would, too.

How can I do this?  How can I leave all that I have here?  I love this place and the people here.  I love being the minister to a small congregation on an island most people have never heard of.  This is my home, the place where I feel in my heart that I am meant to be.

And then there’s Alex.  I gave my heart to a woman once before and lost it the day she died.  Am I ready to give it again?  I don’t think I have a choice.  My heart will do what it wants to.  I don’t know where this relationship with Alex will lead, but I do know that I cannot deny or ignore what I’m feeling any longer.

No, it wasn’t just a kiss.  It was a beginning.

It was just a kiss, a brief coming together of two bodies.  He took me totally by surprise with that kiss.  One second, I was standing there, angry and upset because he was going to leave, and the next, I was in his arms and his lips were on mine.  And now, I can’t get it out of my head.  His lips were so warm, his arms so strong yet gentle as they held me.  I could smell his aftershave, the faint scent of wood smoke in his hair.  It was . . . incredible.  I thought I was going to melt into a puddle right on the spot.

And then I left.  I couldn’t bear being there with him so close, knowing that he was going to walk out of my life.  How dare he kiss me when he’s going to leave?  What am I going to do when he does?

Why am I so certain that he will?

Because of Dad and Steve, that’s why.  I’m assuming that, because they walked away, Daniel will, too.  But is that fair?  He’s not like Steve, not even close.  He’s dedicated his life to God and to helping people.  He’s been here every day for us, a friend to Dylan, to the islanders . . . to me.  He would never forsake the people he loved in favor of a job.

But will he leave Hope for the chance to preach to millions?  How many ministers dream of an opportunity like that?  He said that his father needed him.  And so, now, he has to choose between his father and Hope.  He has to decide if he will take that step and reach out to millions across the country or stay for the two thousand on this little island.  How can I be angry at him for that?

But I don’t want him to leave.  I want to see him every day for the rest of my life.  And . . . I want him to kiss me again.  I could never admit that to him, but I do.  What does that mean?  Am I falling in love with him?  Do I want to fall in love with him?  I’ve already been burned once by love.  Am I ready to take that chance again?  I just don’t know.

No, it wasn’t just a kiss.  It was a doorway to a new life, and now I have to decide if I want to step through it.

THE END